I'm pissed off... what's wrong with that!

Some people get pissed off and spend years in therapy trying to figure out how not to be, but lately I've been looking at it in a different way...



I've come to realize this year that getting pissed off is my way of taking something seriously enough to do something about it, or at least try to do something about it. Letting things go (or "put it in a bubble" as m family says) is a sure fire way for me to avoid an unpleasant subject or ignore something that will inevitably pop up again, most likely as a bigger problem. For this reason I TRY as hard as I can to deal with things as they are happening... it's also my selfish way of attempting to avoid a log jam of bullshit from popping up in my future. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I can't remember the last time I felt bad about "dealing" with something.



Lately I'm sure I appear to my friends and family to be angry about something all the time... and they are right... but I am angry about "somethings" (not to be confused with "everything"). The issues we are facing in this county with health care, credit and banking industries, unemployment are all problems that began to directly effect me and my family once I bought my first home in Ulster County, NY. Don't get me wrong, the move I made is one I will never regret, as I love my new town, home and friends and truly feel like I am where I belong... when you feel like that about a place it's easy (and as far as I'm concerned, reasonable) to get angry when something threatens it.



When I first moved here I was working for a company in Westechester, NY and had been for ten years. Even though at the time I was doing well financially, when my wife and I began house hunting we went conservative all the way... we didn't listen to realtors or mortgage companies that told us we could afford a $350-$400k home... we knew better. When it was suggested that we should consider variable rates loans to save money, we went with "fixed" because we wanted NO surprises. When renovating our home, we did ALL the work ourselves... not because we wanted to, but because it saved us thousands and it was the only way we could afford to do it. So I can safely say I am not someone who bought above his means or moved into a home or neighborhood he could afford.

Flash forward to the present...
*when the credit card companies that we always pay on time decide to jump our interest rate 8 points on a whim, not because the will go out of business or their employees will stave if they don't, but because they want to continue to rake in the insane profits they have been getting for years, regardless of whether it will cripple their customers...
*when the insurance company that takes a chunk of my paycheck each week (Emblem Health if you are interested... not that there is much of a difference between any of them) decides that they don't want to cover necessary eye surgery for my son or pay any portion of his $500 glasses which are deemed a "medical" necessity (BTW-the vision plan doesn't cover any of it either because the glasses are considered "medical" and not "optical).
*when a good friend of ours is dropped from her bank for not keeping a high enough balance in her checking account... not that she's bounced a check or anything, her bank wasn't happy that she is paying bills with the money she was depositing... isn't that what a checking account is for? And to add insult to injury they flagged her name so she couldn't get an account elsewhere!

So in short, yes I'm mad... mad at health care... mad at banks.. mad at credit card companies... mad at a system that allows it continue... mad at people who steal millions/billions, yet walk away without so much as a slap on the wrist... mad at companies that base an employee's future financial progress not by the quality of work they do, but by what they agreed to work for when they were hired...

Getting mad at these things is MY way of getting up a head of steam and trying to do something about them, because if I sit back and say "that's the way it is, there's nothing I can do about it" I've given up, and I can't afford to give up. I was looking at a picture of my 104 year old grandmother the other day surrounded by all her great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren and it occurred to me... my wife and I made a choice to bring 2 people into this world, and before long that number will multiply greatly, I have a responsibility to my children (and their children) to try to do something... I don't have to succeed at everything, but I have to try or I will be leaving my baggage for someone else to deal with.

So to finish off this convoluted rant, a few words for my friends and family...

As you all know I can talk for a LONG time without taking a breath, so if you ask me "what's new" I will probably tell you... if you don't want to know or don't have the time to listen, then you are best off commenting on the weather, or better yet you can tell me how pretty my wife is and what a lucky guy I am... then I'll just nod and say "I know".

Peace, Bryan

Hey that was fun...

Last night I did something I haven't done for a VERY long time... I got together in my basement with two local guys I've never played with before and just jammed and talked...

Please don't confuse jamming with rehearsing... 'cause it seems like I've been rehearsing for the last 20years without much to show for it. Sure it's made me some money, and hopefully gained me a bit respect for working hard at what I do... but I always seem to be preparing for something... a gig... a recording... and that stifles creativity. It's extremely rare that I am in a room with other musicians that don't look at me and say "So, what are we gonna play? You pick something"... I guess it's natural, I sing and I know A LOT of songs, but it always leads to playing/singing the same handful of songs I've be playing since I was a teenager (a long time ago!).

Sitting back and letting someone else sing while I concentrate on trying to follow along without completely fucking the other guys up was great for a change... it teaches you to play/think differently and I am in desperate need of that. The overlooked fact of being in a band is that it's a business (at least it is if you want to: play for people... pay for the gas to get you to the show... get booked to play the same place again... I think you get the point). The business side of being in a band is unavoidable if you want any hope of doing well... and it NEEDS to be done, but it's all consuming and quickly takes your focus away from the creative side of music.

I am so looking forward to more nights like last night... nothing needed to come of it, for a change I was just hanging out and jamming.

Peace, Bryan

I need to be the hummingbird...

This is just a small part of what is wrong with the world (or maybe just my country)...

A few days ago my friend Julie Corbalis had a $4000 of her musical equipment stolen from her car while it was parked in a lot at Guitar Center on 48th Street. Now it bothers me anytime a friend has a run of bad luck, especially when it is someone that regularly goes out of their way to help others... but what bothers me more is the way agencies that are supposed to be in place to help you completely disregard their responsibility. Here's what happened next...

Apparently Guitar Center has cameras in place that survey their parking lot and even though the cameras have a pretty limited view of the lot, Julie was lucky enough to have her car parked were it was in clear view. Now here comes the fun part... Guitar Center wouldn't release or review the tape unless it is requested by the police, OK off to the local precinct to fill out a report... BUT the police won't review the tape because the car was moved (tampering with evidence). Through this all Julie's main thought is how lucky she is to have friends that posted a list of her missing equipment and offer her guitars so she wouldn't miss any gigs.

I consider myself lucky to have a friend that think like that and wish I could view the world in that way. But instead I am overwhelmed with disappointment because it seems obvious that Guitar Center has it's cameras in place to keep themselves from getting sued in the event someone slips and hurts themselves... and that the local police don't consider a person's most prized possessions (and livelihood) worth the few minutes it takes to look at a video tape. Their refusal to do do ANYTHING to help embarrasses me. Now pardon me while I kinda change the subject.

I heard a story the other day...

There was forest fire raging out of control that no one seemed able to extinguish... a hummingbird that was watching the firemen hard at work decided to go to a small puddle, fill it's beak, fly over the forest and drop the water. The hummingbird kept doing this until one of the firemen asked him "what the hell are you doing?" The hummingbird said "I'm doing what I can".

I want to be a hummingbird and do what I can to make the world a bit better... It might not be enough, but I'm gonna try.

Peace

What the hell is a blog?

What the hell is a blog? Do they come from Black Lagoons? Maybe not, but I'm sure somewhere down the line they will destroy us all...

It appears everyone's doing it (in fact for years now), so I guess I better start catching up. This is my first official "blog" and for the life of me I don't know why anyone would waste there time reading what I have to say... especially when they know all they have to is wait for a phone call from and they can be treated to an hour long personal dissertation. To tell you the truth I came across the blog option while updating my website and figured if my web company was gonna give it to me for free "what the hell"... so here we are.

I have been updating my website to try to get myself back into the swing of booking gigs... if you are visiting this site you must know that since I've moved to Ulster County I have been gigging less and less, the main reason for it is that I'm lazy... you wouldn't know it if you lived in Ellenville and saw me constantly working on my house, but anyone who's known me for longer than 4 years must have seen a glimmer of my laziness. Anyway, I can make all the excuses that I want, but the simple truth is that I haven't had to knock on doors or push a press kit under a club owner nose for years because I was relatively well known in my little Westchester circle. Unfortunately, as much as I LOVE my new home in this little mountain village, now that I am "across the river" I'm pretty much unknown... and out of practice (and uncomfortable) when it comes to self promotion... but it's a new world, a new (lousy) economy, I need money, AND I'm good at what I do on stage... and unlike a traditional job (I got one of those too) as my own boss I appreciate the good work my employee (me) does and I am in control of how much I work and how well I get compensated. Since I have no one to point a finger at when things aren't going well except myself, it's time to get to work!

Peace, Bryan