As hard as I try I just don't think I'll ever understand or fall in love with the process of recording... it constantly reminds me of what I don't know.
I have been writing and recording songs since I was 13 and have never REALLY been comfortable with it. Writing seems to come to me in spurts, random and mysterious... and the only thing that I seem to be able to do to help the process along is to have something to record with when the spurt comes... and God help me if my little recorder is out in the car, because then I have to get off my lazy ass and get it... I know it doesn't seem like much of a hassle to do, but believe me that short little walk to the car is more than enough time for me to completely forget whatever brilliant idea I might have thought I had (or morph it into a lousy idea... or even worse turn it into the last Wilco song I listened to).
I don't like NOT being able to repeat a process logically... if the brakes need to be changed on my car I can open my Honda book, follow the directions and I'm done with it... the same with making a cake... hanging a picture... you get the point. I have a library of books on how to: write better songs, write jingles, record on a budget, mic placement, master a great vocal sound, etc., but they all seem to be someone's "opinion". Each one promises a path to follow, but ulitmately ends with "everyone is different, keep trying things until you come up with a sound you like"... what a load of bullshit and I fall for it every time!
Recording to me is the same as writing... except that I know even less about it. To be honest I don't want to learn about the properties of each mic, calculate delay times, cut/paste, trim, edit, bus, patch, blah, blah blah... I just want to hit record, capture the moment and be done with it, but of course it's not that easy and the people that do it well have a talent as skilled as any musician. So why do I bother trying to do it all myself? MONEY and TIME. That's all it all boils down to... I'm too poor to pay someone to do it, and when the spurt comes I don't have time to deal with trying to get someone into my basement studio to capture it. Big bands have the luxury of being able to pay to have someone sitting in a room waiting for them to catch that spark of creativity... I don't.
When I recorded "Eight Hit Wonders!" with the A.M. Band it took me just over 2 years to complete it... that's a long time if you consider that all of the songs were written in about a week or two and Matt, Stuart and I recorded the basic tracks in a couple of nights... the rest of the time was me muddling over the details. My friend Jim Haederle played keys on most of the album, but wanted me to tell him what I wanted him to play... if I knew what I wanted played I would have done it myself! In the end I gave him my rough ideas and he cleaned them up.
Everything done after that was an excruciating process of trying to find a quiet place to record my finished vocals, solos, harmonies while thumbing through a manual trying to figure out how to make my recorder do what I wanted it to (all this wound up being done in a little space above my landlord's garage... the ceiling was so low I did the vocals sitting down or crouched). Some people have the patience and enjoy that part of the "making music" process... I don't.
I must say though that I take great pride when something comes out the way I envisioned it (i.e. "C'mon, C'mon Sunshine" or "Here Comes Melanie"), while at the same time fuming because I can't figure out why other tunes didn't come as good (I won't point those out, you decide for yourself).
Well now I'm back recording again and remembering why it took so long to complete the A.M. project. I have never really stopped recording, but I haven't really been completing things because it brings me back to that mixing stage that involves coming up with all the little details that make a recording "finished". The difference this time is that I am doing all it alone, recording, playing all the instruments, singing all the parts... not because I want to necessarily, but mostly because I'm not good at waiting... and my attempts to collaborate over the past 3 years has mostly meant a lot of waiting. In light of recent events I have made a conscious decision not to wait anymore... time is too precious.
My game plan this time is to sort through what I have started to record and weed out what has potential... I have quite a bit of material on tape (OK hard drive) that sounds great and other stuff that I could spend a year trying to fix, but never salvage. If I don't hear the potential I'll scrap it and re-record.
My other recording goof up has been trying to record a whole album at one time... do all the basic tracks, then all the solos, all the vocals, and so on. The idea has been that it would give me a cohesive sound through all the songs... it sounds practical, but it doesn't work for me. The new plan is to finish a song THEN move on... the "moving on" part being my incentive to complete individual songs. So far it has been working.
Currently I am moving along at a pretty good pace... a lot of my time has been spent trying to come up with ways to make stuff work that I've already recorded... stuff that has something to it that I don't think I'd be able to recapture if I tried to record it again. Those songs contain things I consider "happy mistakes"... they are the little things I didn't plan and would never have purposely thought of doing, but somehow stumbled onto. Oh how I live for the happy mistakes!
There is a quote by the late Jay Bennett (formally guitarist/producer of Wilco) "if the overall sound feels right to you, you're gonna fall in love with the little parts of it that are fucked up"... this is my new mantra.
As for this blog... once again I started writing something that was supposed to be a quick little blurb and it turned into a novel (or should I say it started as a "rant" and turned into a "ramble"). Thanks for listening, I knew I could count on you...
Peace, Bryan
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Renewed energy and direction
I'm feeling pretty good today, for the first time in a couple of weeks...
I have been in semi-limbo for quite a while musically... always doing something, but never quite getting it off the ground. It's been frustrating, especially when I know that in the end I'm pretty much the only one responsable for my eractic pace. More often than not projects grind to a halt based on some outside force I've had little or no control over, but I'm responsable for it because in many cases the problems should have been predicted and I made concious choices ingore warning signs (insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result).
With the passing of my friend and bandmate Eric Polozune in late November once again I lost out on an opportunity... as often as we discussed getting together and having him lay down organ tracks on some of my songs, we kept putting it off for one reason or another. Some of the reasons were valid... Eric had health issues and I had band issues to deal with that kept me in a funk. There is always something else that has to be done and you can always make a good excuse for not getting off your ass and doing the work... of course when the smoke clears you might find that you put something on the backburner one time too many times and your opportunity is gone for good.
Musicians need to be heard... why else would we put up with all the crap? What Eric added to my songs should have been heard... we should have gigged more... I wish we had gotten him recorded and he had the chance to hear himself on those songs. Since that won't be happening it seems to me the next best thing is to get his spirit into the mix... Luckily I have some live recordings of him playing so I've got a pretty good idea of what he MIGHT have played for a particular part. So with a newfound sense of urgency and a desire to not let another opportunity slip away I have been spending some long evenings in my studio working on a lot of unfinished recordings... and actually extremely happy with the results so far. I won't go into to it any further than that at this point because my projects tend to grind to a halt immediately after I announce my intentions to the world... so let's be clear, I ain't announcing nothin'... we're just talking here (;-)>
I guess at this point in my life the need to be heard is the only reason I still write and record songs. It's not like I'm looking for a record contract or anything like that, those days are long gone... but the thought that a song I wrote/recorded might be floating around years after I'm gone and someone might actually like it keeps me going.
So as the title of this post says I'm moving forward with "renewed energy and direction"... stay tuned to see if it works!
Peace, Bryan
I have been in semi-limbo for quite a while musically... always doing something, but never quite getting it off the ground. It's been frustrating, especially when I know that in the end I'm pretty much the only one responsable for my eractic pace. More often than not projects grind to a halt based on some outside force I've had little or no control over, but I'm responsable for it because in many cases the problems should have been predicted and I made concious choices ingore warning signs (insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result).
With the passing of my friend and bandmate Eric Polozune in late November once again I lost out on an opportunity... as often as we discussed getting together and having him lay down organ tracks on some of my songs, we kept putting it off for one reason or another. Some of the reasons were valid... Eric had health issues and I had band issues to deal with that kept me in a funk. There is always something else that has to be done and you can always make a good excuse for not getting off your ass and doing the work... of course when the smoke clears you might find that you put something on the backburner one time too many times and your opportunity is gone for good.
Musicians need to be heard... why else would we put up with all the crap? What Eric added to my songs should have been heard... we should have gigged more... I wish we had gotten him recorded and he had the chance to hear himself on those songs. Since that won't be happening it seems to me the next best thing is to get his spirit into the mix... Luckily I have some live recordings of him playing so I've got a pretty good idea of what he MIGHT have played for a particular part. So with a newfound sense of urgency and a desire to not let another opportunity slip away I have been spending some long evenings in my studio working on a lot of unfinished recordings... and actually extremely happy with the results so far. I won't go into to it any further than that at this point because my projects tend to grind to a halt immediately after I announce my intentions to the world... so let's be clear, I ain't announcing nothin'... we're just talking here (;-)>
I guess at this point in my life the need to be heard is the only reason I still write and record songs. It's not like I'm looking for a record contract or anything like that, those days are long gone... but the thought that a song I wrote/recorded might be floating around years after I'm gone and someone might actually like it keeps me going.
So as the title of this post says I'm moving forward with "renewed energy and direction"... stay tuned to see if it works!
Peace, Bryan
Sunday, November 29, 2009
is devestated...
I just found out that very good friend of mine passed away last night. I met Eric Polozune about 2 years ago when he answered an ad I posted for a keyboard player. From the start he was one of the most helpful, humble, and positive people I have ever met. Since we first met Eric had been battling muliple health issues, but never let it slow him down or dampen his spirit, drive or determination to make music. His beautiful playing (mostly B3 organ) perfectly lent itself to my original music and he and I had been speaking regularly and anxiously looking forward to getting together in the coming weeks to play.
Eric can be heard playing on one of my songs "Out With The Tide" on my MySpace page http://www.myspace.com/bryangordon. I will be going through my archives and posting more in the next few days, but until then take a moment to listen and remember a fine musician and my good friend. Safe trip Eric.
I just found out that very good friend of mine passed away last night. I met Eric Polozune about 2 years ago when he answered an ad I posted for a keyboard player. From the start he was one of the most helpful, humble, and positive people I have ever met. Since we first met Eric had been battling muliple health issues, but never let it slow him down or dampen his spirit, drive or determination to make music. His beautiful playing (mostly B3 organ) perfectly lent itself to my original music and he and I had been speaking regularly and anxiously looking forward to getting together in the coming weeks to play.
Eric can be heard playing on one of my songs "Out With The Tide" on my MySpace page http://www.myspace.com/bryangordon. I will be going through my archives and posting more in the next few days, but until then take a moment to listen and remember a fine musician and my good friend. Safe trip Eric.
Friday, November 20, 2009
What's the hold up?
A few months back I decided that, in an effort to actually finish a recording project, I was going to record a bunch of my original songs acoustically with no frills... just guitar, voice, and a little harmonica. My plan was to get something finished quick and press a few hundred copies I could sell at my solo shows... my thought at the time was that since I hadn't gotten an original band project up and running in spite of 3 years of trying to (at least nothing that lasted more than a few weeks), I would be best off presenting these songs in the only way they were consistently being performed.... but like most of my my ideas "the devil is in the details".
I quickly went into my studio and banged out 19 or 20 songs live that for the most part I was pretty happy with... then I sat down and listened to them over and over, decided which ones I wanted to put on the album, added a few effects and stuff that needs to be done to make the recording ready for pressing. I had realized pretty quickly that I was going to have to redo "Better on Our Own" and "Juliet, Juliet"... "Juliet" came out OK, but I had slurred a few words and that bothered me, and "Better" (for lack of a better way of putting it) just wasn't right.
Dealing with everything that needs to be done after a recording is done is not where I shine, I tend to overthink stuff and second guess myself... while all of that was going on I gave a copy of the recording to my friend Julie Corbalis and her behind the scenes guy, Scully, for them to review. They both have a nice way of letting you know if something is shit without making it sound like that's what they are saying... but at the same time being supportive and encouraging (exactly what I need). Before I heard back from them I went to work on getting a press kit page together on my website to pick up some new "cover" gigs. Part of that was having to record a few cover tunes so interested parties could hear what I sound like live. Once again I quickly knocked out a dozen tunes, but since they weren't going on an album I did very little to the recording as far as post production... after listening to the finished product I started to decide that I liked the minimal production of the cover recording more than what I did with my original stuff. Argh!!!
When I finally had an opportunity to sit down and talk with Julie and Scully, Scully immediately confirmed something that I had been feeling myself... he said "on the songs you started with harmonica, I wanted to hear more of it through the rest of the song". There is a completely logical reason for why I didn't play a lot of harmonica after the song intros... I can't play harmonica! I mean I noodle around a little bit, but I am far too self conscious to be blowing away any time I'm not singing. Not only that, but I racked my brain trying to make the few parts I did play "interesting" and I didn't want to screw that up by playing more, (and not very well). In the end I totally agreed with him.
All in all they liked it and thought I should release it as is, but when someone else recognizes the same flaws I do, then I have to start thinking that the flaws are there and I am not just being overly critical of myself. Put that together with the fact that I liked the overall sound and feel of the cover recordings better and I am starting to think that I better get back in the basement and re-record the original stuff.
None of this is really that important in the grand scheme of things, but I have made mention that the acoustic album was in the works and perhaps there are a few of you out there wondering what the hold-up is. Well that's pretty much it in a nutschell.
On the off chance any of you would like to judge any of this yourself, there are a handful of songs from both the "cover" and "original" recordings posted on the press kit page of my website www.bryangordon.net/Press_Kit.html . You decide...
Peace, Bryan
P.S. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
I quickly went into my studio and banged out 19 or 20 songs live that for the most part I was pretty happy with... then I sat down and listened to them over and over, decided which ones I wanted to put on the album, added a few effects and stuff that needs to be done to make the recording ready for pressing. I had realized pretty quickly that I was going to have to redo "Better on Our Own" and "Juliet, Juliet"... "Juliet" came out OK, but I had slurred a few words and that bothered me, and "Better" (for lack of a better way of putting it) just wasn't right.
Dealing with everything that needs to be done after a recording is done is not where I shine, I tend to overthink stuff and second guess myself... while all of that was going on I gave a copy of the recording to my friend Julie Corbalis and her behind the scenes guy, Scully, for them to review. They both have a nice way of letting you know if something is shit without making it sound like that's what they are saying... but at the same time being supportive and encouraging (exactly what I need). Before I heard back from them I went to work on getting a press kit page together on my website to pick up some new "cover" gigs. Part of that was having to record a few cover tunes so interested parties could hear what I sound like live. Once again I quickly knocked out a dozen tunes, but since they weren't going on an album I did very little to the recording as far as post production... after listening to the finished product I started to decide that I liked the minimal production of the cover recording more than what I did with my original stuff. Argh!!!
When I finally had an opportunity to sit down and talk with Julie and Scully, Scully immediately confirmed something that I had been feeling myself... he said "on the songs you started with harmonica, I wanted to hear more of it through the rest of the song". There is a completely logical reason for why I didn't play a lot of harmonica after the song intros... I can't play harmonica! I mean I noodle around a little bit, but I am far too self conscious to be blowing away any time I'm not singing. Not only that, but I racked my brain trying to make the few parts I did play "interesting" and I didn't want to screw that up by playing more, (and not very well). In the end I totally agreed with him.
All in all they liked it and thought I should release it as is, but when someone else recognizes the same flaws I do, then I have to start thinking that the flaws are there and I am not just being overly critical of myself. Put that together with the fact that I liked the overall sound and feel of the cover recordings better and I am starting to think that I better get back in the basement and re-record the original stuff.
None of this is really that important in the grand scheme of things, but I have made mention that the acoustic album was in the works and perhaps there are a few of you out there wondering what the hold-up is. Well that's pretty much it in a nutschell.
On the off chance any of you would like to judge any of this yourself, there are a handful of songs from both the "cover" and "original" recordings posted on the press kit page of my website www.bryangordon.net/Press_Kit.html . You decide...
Peace, Bryan
P.S. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Soon it will be over (:-(>
A few months back, in an effort to quietly sit together with my wife and kids at night (if only for a half hour), I purchase the first season of the "Partridge Family" online... I wanted us to sit down and watch something that I thought would appeal to all of us (6-46yrs) and I had always had fond memories of the show, so I figured we could give it a try...
We are now coming to the end of season 3 and I am starting to worry that my "C'mon Get Happy" feeling will soon be replaced with an emptiness that will never be filled. Believe it or not "The Partridge Family" has become quite a tradition at our home and I think I speak for all of us when I say that we look forward to our half hour plopped on the couch (Reily sprawled across the end chair and Sammy (our dog) jammed somewhere in between me, Kate and Sullivan on the couch). Sometimes it's not as quiet as I had originally envisioned it... the Gordon's can't really sit through a T.V. show without making fun of something... Keith's girly walk... the fact that we haven't seen their dog (Simone) since the first episode... and oh that nutty Reuben!
Now if you are reading this blog odds are you know I have always been a fan of syrupy 70's music, and the Partridge Family is no exception. I used to watch the show religiously when I was a kid and I can safely say that I'm sure that in some twisted way it played a big part in my getting involved in music... but what I didn't realize when I was 7 years old was how good of a show it actually was. I think it's easy for people to lump it together with the "Brady Bunch" (a show which I NEVER liked), but short of them both being "families" I see very few similarities... to begin with, the fact that they were being raised by a single mother (widowed) was a huge break from norm of 50's and early 60's shows... and if you can look past the silly shit like the bus getting stuck in a ghost town, or them having to get dressed up in chicken suits, the problems they dealt with were far more true to life than the Bradys would dare to approach. For instance, in last night's episode Keith was failing sex education and Danny tried to help by lending him his copy of "Playpen" ("Playboy" knock off if you haven't already guessed)... no 11 year old Brady ever admitted to having a Playboy hidden in their room!
As I said when I started this rant (or is it ramble?), we are coming to the end of season 3 and soon I will be ordering season 4 (the final season) and I am starting to feel sad that it will be over, mostly because I will know that I have now seen ALL of the episodes (when it was on T.V. you always though that you must have missed a few)... I know we will find another show to keep the tradition going (we're already talking about the Monkees), but it just won't be the same.
Peace, Bryan
We are now coming to the end of season 3 and I am starting to worry that my "C'mon Get Happy" feeling will soon be replaced with an emptiness that will never be filled. Believe it or not "The Partridge Family" has become quite a tradition at our home and I think I speak for all of us when I say that we look forward to our half hour plopped on the couch (Reily sprawled across the end chair and Sammy (our dog) jammed somewhere in between me, Kate and Sullivan on the couch). Sometimes it's not as quiet as I had originally envisioned it... the Gordon's can't really sit through a T.V. show without making fun of something... Keith's girly walk... the fact that we haven't seen their dog (Simone) since the first episode... and oh that nutty Reuben!
Now if you are reading this blog odds are you know I have always been a fan of syrupy 70's music, and the Partridge Family is no exception. I used to watch the show religiously when I was a kid and I can safely say that I'm sure that in some twisted way it played a big part in my getting involved in music... but what I didn't realize when I was 7 years old was how good of a show it actually was. I think it's easy for people to lump it together with the "Brady Bunch" (a show which I NEVER liked), but short of them both being "families" I see very few similarities... to begin with, the fact that they were being raised by a single mother (widowed) was a huge break from norm of 50's and early 60's shows... and if you can look past the silly shit like the bus getting stuck in a ghost town, or them having to get dressed up in chicken suits, the problems they dealt with were far more true to life than the Bradys would dare to approach. For instance, in last night's episode Keith was failing sex education and Danny tried to help by lending him his copy of "Playpen" ("Playboy" knock off if you haven't already guessed)... no 11 year old Brady ever admitted to having a Playboy hidden in their room!
As I said when I started this rant (or is it ramble?), we are coming to the end of season 3 and soon I will be ordering season 4 (the final season) and I am starting to feel sad that it will be over, mostly because I will know that I have now seen ALL of the episodes (when it was on T.V. you always though that you must have missed a few)... I know we will find another show to keep the tradition going (we're already talking about the Monkees), but it just won't be the same.
Peace, Bryan
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Could it be??????
Last night I got together to jam with a couple of local guys for the second time and once again it was great.
The first time we got together we came in with no preconceptions, nothing planned... the goal was to just hang out and make some music (and of course, have a few beers) and by the end I was pleasantly surprised that I seemed to be in the company of real musicians (which never ceases to humble me). But what really surprised me is that everyone got along and we all seemed to be on the same page about what we were hoping to accomplish... even though at the onset the goal was to accomplish nothing but have a little fun.
Last night we decided we would come in with a few songs prepared and this is where I started to worry... it's hard enough to get three guys to agree on a group on songs to do, but to actually have everyone come into the room prepared to play those songs is rare (especially when they've never heard a few of them before). For the past few years I have been a bit obsessed with a band called "Wilco", an obsession I'm sure must tire my friends and family... I didn't want to scare these guys off, but if we were gonna work out some songs I really wanted to do something by that band. "No problem, let's give it a try" was the response.
The first sign that things might go well was Tony (bass) pulling out notes and lyric sheets (hey, I had those... could it be that I'm not the only one that is that anal?), but then those dreaded words "I couldn't get the songs to burn to a CD" (here it comes, I knew there would be a problem)... "so I went to YouTube and learned them... do you want to do the live versions or studio? I learned both".
?????????? What could this be I was hearing?
Then in walked Mike (drummer) and it was the same thing! The icing on the cake was Tony saying "that Wilco tune is really cool!"
For the next 2 hrs. we had a few beers, worked out harmonies and little details (which as far as I'm concerned is what rehearsals are for). Learning how to play songs at rehearsal is for high school kids that have nothing but time... but if you are a soccer dad that has a job and a house, do your homework and come in prepared.
By the end of the night we had pretty good renditions of "Jesus, etc" (Wilco), "Molly's Chambers" (Kings of Leon) and "No Matter What" (Badfinger). We also touched on "Use Somebody" (another Kings of Leon tune) enough to know we could pull it off next week.
I have been trying my best to have fun and not have high hopes... but I think it's safe to say that after last night I have a pretty good dose of both.
Peace, Bryan
The first time we got together we came in with no preconceptions, nothing planned... the goal was to just hang out and make some music (and of course, have a few beers) and by the end I was pleasantly surprised that I seemed to be in the company of real musicians (which never ceases to humble me). But what really surprised me is that everyone got along and we all seemed to be on the same page about what we were hoping to accomplish... even though at the onset the goal was to accomplish nothing but have a little fun.
Last night we decided we would come in with a few songs prepared and this is where I started to worry... it's hard enough to get three guys to agree on a group on songs to do, but to actually have everyone come into the room prepared to play those songs is rare (especially when they've never heard a few of them before). For the past few years I have been a bit obsessed with a band called "Wilco", an obsession I'm sure must tire my friends and family... I didn't want to scare these guys off, but if we were gonna work out some songs I really wanted to do something by that band. "No problem, let's give it a try" was the response.
The first sign that things might go well was Tony (bass) pulling out notes and lyric sheets (hey, I had those... could it be that I'm not the only one that is that anal?), but then those dreaded words "I couldn't get the songs to burn to a CD" (here it comes, I knew there would be a problem)... "so I went to YouTube and learned them... do you want to do the live versions or studio? I learned both".
?????????? What could this be I was hearing?
Then in walked Mike (drummer) and it was the same thing! The icing on the cake was Tony saying "that Wilco tune is really cool!"
For the next 2 hrs. we had a few beers, worked out harmonies and little details (which as far as I'm concerned is what rehearsals are for). Learning how to play songs at rehearsal is for high school kids that have nothing but time... but if you are a soccer dad that has a job and a house, do your homework and come in prepared.
By the end of the night we had pretty good renditions of "Jesus, etc" (Wilco), "Molly's Chambers" (Kings of Leon) and "No Matter What" (Badfinger). We also touched on "Use Somebody" (another Kings of Leon tune) enough to know we could pull it off next week.
I have been trying my best to have fun and not have high hopes... but I think it's safe to say that after last night I have a pretty good dose of both.
Peace, Bryan
Sunday, October 25, 2009
I'm pissed off... what's wrong with that!
Some people get pissed off and spend years in therapy trying to figure out how not to be, but lately I've been looking at it in a different way...
I've come to realize this year that getting pissed off is my way of taking something seriously enough to do something about it, or at least try to do something about it. Letting things go (or "put it in a bubble" as m family says) is a sure fire way for me to avoid an unpleasant subject or ignore something that will inevitably pop up again, most likely as a bigger problem. For this reason I TRY as hard as I can to deal with things as they are happening... it's also my selfish way of attempting to avoid a log jam of bullshit from popping up in my future. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I can't remember the last time I felt bad about "dealing" with something.
Lately I'm sure I appear to my friends and family to be angry about something all the time... and they are right... but I am angry about "somethings" (not to be confused with "everything"). The issues we are facing in this county with health care, credit and banking industries, unemployment are all problems that began to directly effect me and my family once I bought my first home in Ulster County, NY. Don't get me wrong, the move I made is one I will never regret, as I love my new town, home and friends and truly feel like I am where I belong... when you feel like that about a place it's easy (and as far as I'm concerned, reasonable) to get angry when something threatens it.
When I first moved here I was working for a company in Westechester, NY and had been for ten years. Even though at the time I was doing well financially, when my wife and I began house hunting we went conservative all the way... we didn't listen to realtors or mortgage companies that told us we could afford a $350-$400k home... we knew better. When it was suggested that we should consider variable rates loans to save money, we went with "fixed" because we wanted NO surprises. When renovating our home, we did ALL the work ourselves... not because we wanted to, but because it saved us thousands and it was the only way we could afford to do it. So I can safely say I am not someone who bought above his means or moved into a home or neighborhood he could afford.
Flash forward to the present...
*when the credit card companies that we always pay on time decide to jump our interest rate 8 points on a whim, not because the will go out of business or their employees will stave if they don't, but because they want to continue to rake in the insane profits they have been getting for years, regardless of whether it will cripple their customers...
*when the insurance company that takes a chunk of my paycheck each week (Emblem Health if you are interested... not that there is much of a difference between any of them) decides that they don't want to cover necessary eye surgery for my son or pay any portion of his $500 glasses which are deemed a "medical" necessity (BTW-the vision plan doesn't cover any of it either because the glasses are considered "medical" and not "optical).
*when a good friend of ours is dropped from her bank for not keeping a high enough balance in her checking account... not that she's bounced a check or anything, her bank wasn't happy that she is paying bills with the money she was depositing... isn't that what a checking account is for? And to add insult to injury they flagged her name so she couldn't get an account elsewhere!
So in short, yes I'm mad... mad at health care... mad at banks.. mad at credit card companies... mad at a system that allows it continue... mad at people who steal millions/billions, yet walk away without so much as a slap on the wrist... mad at companies that base an employee's future financial progress not by the quality of work they do, but by what they agreed to work for when they were hired...
Getting mad at these things is MY way of getting up a head of steam and trying to do something about them, because if I sit back and say "that's the way it is, there's nothing I can do about it" I've given up, and I can't afford to give up. I was looking at a picture of my 104 year old grandmother the other day surrounded by all her great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren and it occurred to me... my wife and I made a choice to bring 2 people into this world, and before long that number will multiply greatly, I have a responsibility to my children (and their children) to try to do something... I don't have to succeed at everything, but I have to try or I will be leaving my baggage for someone else to deal with.
So to finish off this convoluted rant, a few words for my friends and family...
As you all know I can talk for a LONG time without taking a breath, so if you ask me "what's new" I will probably tell you... if you don't want to know or don't have the time to listen, then you are best off commenting on the weather, or better yet you can tell me how pretty my wife is and what a lucky guy I am... then I'll just nod and say "I know".
Peace, Bryan
I've come to realize this year that getting pissed off is my way of taking something seriously enough to do something about it, or at least try to do something about it. Letting things go (or "put it in a bubble" as m family says) is a sure fire way for me to avoid an unpleasant subject or ignore something that will inevitably pop up again, most likely as a bigger problem. For this reason I TRY as hard as I can to deal with things as they are happening... it's also my selfish way of attempting to avoid a log jam of bullshit from popping up in my future. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I can't remember the last time I felt bad about "dealing" with something.
Lately I'm sure I appear to my friends and family to be angry about something all the time... and they are right... but I am angry about "somethings" (not to be confused with "everything"). The issues we are facing in this county with health care, credit and banking industries, unemployment are all problems that began to directly effect me and my family once I bought my first home in Ulster County, NY. Don't get me wrong, the move I made is one I will never regret, as I love my new town, home and friends and truly feel like I am where I belong... when you feel like that about a place it's easy (and as far as I'm concerned, reasonable) to get angry when something threatens it.
When I first moved here I was working for a company in Westechester, NY and had been for ten years. Even though at the time I was doing well financially, when my wife and I began house hunting we went conservative all the way... we didn't listen to realtors or mortgage companies that told us we could afford a $350-$400k home... we knew better. When it was suggested that we should consider variable rates loans to save money, we went with "fixed" because we wanted NO surprises. When renovating our home, we did ALL the work ourselves... not because we wanted to, but because it saved us thousands and it was the only way we could afford to do it. So I can safely say I am not someone who bought above his means or moved into a home or neighborhood he could afford.
Flash forward to the present...
*when the credit card companies that we always pay on time decide to jump our interest rate 8 points on a whim, not because the will go out of business or their employees will stave if they don't, but because they want to continue to rake in the insane profits they have been getting for years, regardless of whether it will cripple their customers...
*when the insurance company that takes a chunk of my paycheck each week (Emblem Health if you are interested... not that there is much of a difference between any of them) decides that they don't want to cover necessary eye surgery for my son or pay any portion of his $500 glasses which are deemed a "medical" necessity (BTW-the vision plan doesn't cover any of it either because the glasses are considered "medical" and not "optical).
*when a good friend of ours is dropped from her bank for not keeping a high enough balance in her checking account... not that she's bounced a check or anything, her bank wasn't happy that she is paying bills with the money she was depositing... isn't that what a checking account is for? And to add insult to injury they flagged her name so she couldn't get an account elsewhere!
So in short, yes I'm mad... mad at health care... mad at banks.. mad at credit card companies... mad at a system that allows it continue... mad at people who steal millions/billions, yet walk away without so much as a slap on the wrist... mad at companies that base an employee's future financial progress not by the quality of work they do, but by what they agreed to work for when they were hired...
Getting mad at these things is MY way of getting up a head of steam and trying to do something about them, because if I sit back and say "that's the way it is, there's nothing I can do about it" I've given up, and I can't afford to give up. I was looking at a picture of my 104 year old grandmother the other day surrounded by all her great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren and it occurred to me... my wife and I made a choice to bring 2 people into this world, and before long that number will multiply greatly, I have a responsibility to my children (and their children) to try to do something... I don't have to succeed at everything, but I have to try or I will be leaving my baggage for someone else to deal with.
So to finish off this convoluted rant, a few words for my friends and family...
As you all know I can talk for a LONG time without taking a breath, so if you ask me "what's new" I will probably tell you... if you don't want to know or don't have the time to listen, then you are best off commenting on the weather, or better yet you can tell me how pretty my wife is and what a lucky guy I am... then I'll just nod and say "I know".
Peace, Bryan
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Hey that was fun...
Last night I did something I haven't done for a VERY long time... I got together in my basement with two local guys I've never played with before and just jammed and talked...
Please don't confuse jamming with rehearsing... 'cause it seems like I've been rehearsing for the last 20years without much to show for it. Sure it's made me some money, and hopefully gained me a bit respect for working hard at what I do... but I always seem to be preparing for something... a gig... a recording... and that stifles creativity. It's extremely rare that I am in a room with other musicians that don't look at me and say "So, what are we gonna play? You pick something"... I guess it's natural, I sing and I know A LOT of songs, but it always leads to playing/singing the same handful of songs I've be playing since I was a teenager (a long time ago!).
Sitting back and letting someone else sing while I concentrate on trying to follow along without completely fucking the other guys up was great for a change... it teaches you to play/think differently and I am in desperate need of that. The overlooked fact of being in a band is that it's a business (at least it is if you want to: play for people... pay for the gas to get you to the show... get booked to play the same place again... I think you get the point). The business side of being in a band is unavoidable if you want any hope of doing well... and it NEEDS to be done, but it's all consuming and quickly takes your focus away from the creative side of music.
I am so looking forward to more nights like last night... nothing needed to come of it, for a change I was just hanging out and jamming.
Peace, Bryan
Please don't confuse jamming with rehearsing... 'cause it seems like I've been rehearsing for the last 20years without much to show for it. Sure it's made me some money, and hopefully gained me a bit respect for working hard at what I do... but I always seem to be preparing for something... a gig... a recording... and that stifles creativity. It's extremely rare that I am in a room with other musicians that don't look at me and say "So, what are we gonna play? You pick something"... I guess it's natural, I sing and I know A LOT of songs, but it always leads to playing/singing the same handful of songs I've be playing since I was a teenager (a long time ago!).
Sitting back and letting someone else sing while I concentrate on trying to follow along without completely fucking the other guys up was great for a change... it teaches you to play/think differently and I am in desperate need of that. The overlooked fact of being in a band is that it's a business (at least it is if you want to: play for people... pay for the gas to get you to the show... get booked to play the same place again... I think you get the point). The business side of being in a band is unavoidable if you want any hope of doing well... and it NEEDS to be done, but it's all consuming and quickly takes your focus away from the creative side of music.
I am so looking forward to more nights like last night... nothing needed to come of it, for a change I was just hanging out and jamming.
Peace, Bryan
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I need to be the hummingbird...
This is just a small part of what is wrong with the world (or maybe just my country)...
A few days ago my friend Julie Corbalis had a $4000 of her musical equipment stolen from her car while it was parked in a lot at Guitar Center on 48th Street. Now it bothers me anytime a friend has a run of bad luck, especially when it is someone that regularly goes out of their way to help others... but what bothers me more is the way agencies that are supposed to be in place to help you completely disregard their responsibility. Here's what happened next...
Apparently Guitar Center has cameras in place that survey their parking lot and even though the cameras have a pretty limited view of the lot, Julie was lucky enough to have her car parked were it was in clear view. Now here comes the fun part... Guitar Center wouldn't release or review the tape unless it is requested by the police, OK off to the local precinct to fill out a report... BUT the police won't review the tape because the car was moved (tampering with evidence). Through this all Julie's main thought is how lucky she is to have friends that posted a list of her missing equipment and offer her guitars so she wouldn't miss any gigs.
I consider myself lucky to have a friend that think like that and wish I could view the world in that way. But instead I am overwhelmed with disappointment because it seems obvious that Guitar Center has it's cameras in place to keep themselves from getting sued in the event someone slips and hurts themselves... and that the local police don't consider a person's most prized possessions (and livelihood) worth the few minutes it takes to look at a video tape. Their refusal to do do ANYTHING to help embarrasses me. Now pardon me while I kinda change the subject.
I heard a story the other day...
There was forest fire raging out of control that no one seemed able to extinguish... a hummingbird that was watching the firemen hard at work decided to go to a small puddle, fill it's beak, fly over the forest and drop the water. The hummingbird kept doing this until one of the firemen asked him "what the hell are you doing?" The hummingbird said "I'm doing what I can".
I want to be a hummingbird and do what I can to make the world a bit better... It might not be enough, but I'm gonna try.
Peace
A few days ago my friend Julie Corbalis had a $4000 of her musical equipment stolen from her car while it was parked in a lot at Guitar Center on 48th Street. Now it bothers me anytime a friend has a run of bad luck, especially when it is someone that regularly goes out of their way to help others... but what bothers me more is the way agencies that are supposed to be in place to help you completely disregard their responsibility. Here's what happened next...
Apparently Guitar Center has cameras in place that survey their parking lot and even though the cameras have a pretty limited view of the lot, Julie was lucky enough to have her car parked were it was in clear view. Now here comes the fun part... Guitar Center wouldn't release or review the tape unless it is requested by the police, OK off to the local precinct to fill out a report... BUT the police won't review the tape because the car was moved (tampering with evidence). Through this all Julie's main thought is how lucky she is to have friends that posted a list of her missing equipment and offer her guitars so she wouldn't miss any gigs.
I consider myself lucky to have a friend that think like that and wish I could view the world in that way. But instead I am overwhelmed with disappointment because it seems obvious that Guitar Center has it's cameras in place to keep themselves from getting sued in the event someone slips and hurts themselves... and that the local police don't consider a person's most prized possessions (and livelihood) worth the few minutes it takes to look at a video tape. Their refusal to do do ANYTHING to help embarrasses me. Now pardon me while I kinda change the subject.
I heard a story the other day...
There was forest fire raging out of control that no one seemed able to extinguish... a hummingbird that was watching the firemen hard at work decided to go to a small puddle, fill it's beak, fly over the forest and drop the water. The hummingbird kept doing this until one of the firemen asked him "what the hell are you doing?" The hummingbird said "I'm doing what I can".
I want to be a hummingbird and do what I can to make the world a bit better... It might not be enough, but I'm gonna try.
Peace
What the hell is a blog?
What the hell is a blog? Do they come from Black Lagoons? Maybe not, but I'm sure somewhere down the line they will destroy us all...
It appears everyone's doing it (in fact for years now), so I guess I better start catching up. This is my first official "blog" and for the life of me I don't know why anyone would waste there time reading what I have to say... especially when they know all they have to is wait for a phone call from and they can be treated to an hour long personal dissertation. To tell you the truth I came across the blog option while updating my website and figured if my web company was gonna give it to me for free "what the hell"... so here we are.
I have been updating my website to try to get myself back into the swing of booking gigs... if you are visiting this site you must know that since I've moved to Ulster County I have been gigging less and less, the main reason for it is that I'm lazy... you wouldn't know it if you lived in Ellenville and saw me constantly working on my house, but anyone who's known me for longer than 4 years must have seen a glimmer of my laziness. Anyway, I can make all the excuses that I want, but the simple truth is that I haven't had to knock on doors or push a press kit under a club owner nose for years because I was relatively well known in my little Westchester circle. Unfortunately, as much as I LOVE my new home in this little mountain village, now that I am "across the river" I'm pretty much unknown... and out of practice (and uncomfortable) when it comes to self promotion... but it's a new world, a new (lousy) economy, I need money, AND I'm good at what I do on stage... and unlike a traditional job (I got one of those too) as my own boss I appreciate the good work my employee (me) does and I am in control of how much I work and how well I get compensated. Since I have no one to point a finger at when things aren't going well except myself, it's time to get to work!
Peace, Bryan
It appears everyone's doing it (in fact for years now), so I guess I better start catching up. This is my first official "blog" and for the life of me I don't know why anyone would waste there time reading what I have to say... especially when they know all they have to is wait for a phone call from and they can be treated to an hour long personal dissertation. To tell you the truth I came across the blog option while updating my website and figured if my web company was gonna give it to me for free "what the hell"... so here we are.
I have been updating my website to try to get myself back into the swing of booking gigs... if you are visiting this site you must know that since I've moved to Ulster County I have been gigging less and less, the main reason for it is that I'm lazy... you wouldn't know it if you lived in Ellenville and saw me constantly working on my house, but anyone who's known me for longer than 4 years must have seen a glimmer of my laziness. Anyway, I can make all the excuses that I want, but the simple truth is that I haven't had to knock on doors or push a press kit under a club owner nose for years because I was relatively well known in my little Westchester circle. Unfortunately, as much as I LOVE my new home in this little mountain village, now that I am "across the river" I'm pretty much unknown... and out of practice (and uncomfortable) when it comes to self promotion... but it's a new world, a new (lousy) economy, I need money, AND I'm good at what I do on stage... and unlike a traditional job (I got one of those too) as my own boss I appreciate the good work my employee (me) does and I am in control of how much I work and how well I get compensated. Since I have no one to point a finger at when things aren't going well except myself, it's time to get to work!
Peace, Bryan
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